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Frequently Asked Questions

How long are sessions? How often will we meet?

This is a good question and important to ask. Each situation is different and therefore will require a different therapy schedule. On average sessions are 50 minutes with the first intake appointment approx. 1.5 hours. This allows sufficient time to explore your reasons for attending and your goals and hope for therapy. Additionally, it is my priority for you to feel comfortable and make sure I am a good fit for the work you wish to do. The relationship we build is very important to the process and necessary for successful outcome. Some clients choose to have longer sessions or attend more frequently. It is up to you what pace you want to work at. However, the more consistent the therapy the faster the results. Vancouver Island Therapy is willing to work at whatever pace and timeframe you are comfortable with.



What kind of therapy do you do and what do you have formal training in?

We are integrative therapists. This means we are not aligned with just one approach, as we believe that therapy is not one size fits all. Your needs are the priority and therefore, we will meet them flexibly and following your lead. However, it is also good for a therapist to be grounded in a specific worldview and approach they work from. We are systemic, experiential, marriage and family and trauma informed therapist. We are formally trained in Satir family therapy, EMDR, Relationship Empowerment therapy, Motivational Interviewing and CSAT – Certified Sex Addiction.



Is there any point coming to counselling if my spouse is not willing?

It is hard to counsel and help a couple without both people present. However, if you partner is not ready you do not need to suffer until they are. You can get support in making decisions that are right for you, practice self-care and have assurance that no matter what happens, you are willing and have done everything to better yourself and the relationship.



My spouse had an affair. Can you help?

Although extremely painful, many couples can heal from this relationship wound. The sooner you can get help for this, the more the likelihood of healing. Even if the relationship is unable to be saved, both individuals will be better equipped and professionally supported to deal with the outcome. Many couples who choose to commit to making the relationship work, while also being accountable for their part in the relationship rupture, claim that couples therapy is the catalyst for a deeper, more intimate connection with their partner.



What is your belief and approach about addiction?

Vancouver Island Therapy is extensively trained in all models of addiction and interventions. The preference is an abstinence goal for addiction recovery, given a belief that every human yearns for congruence, joy and freedom from the ties that bind to destructive behaviour. However, we also recognize there are many paths to get to this connection with self and respect every individual unique path to recovery. Vancouver Island Therapy will meet you wherever you are at in your addiction and/or recovery. You are not alone. Family members also need to be supported through a loved one’s addiction, as it affects everyone in the family – tragically at times. Vancouver Island Therapy specializes in supporting and treating families in addiction and recovery.



How can you tell if it is addiction or whether therapy or treatment is needed?

Trained to formally assess addiction from normal or even problematic recreational usage, Vancouver Island Therapy will help you and/or your family determine what is going on and come up with a comprehensive plan to help you navigate your way to recovery. There is a life worth living, free from any addiction!



What is EMDR? What is it used to treat?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is an integrative psychotherapy approach that has been extensively researched and proven effective for the treatment of trauma. EMDR is a set of standardized protocols that incorporates elements from many different treatment approaches (EMDRIA International Association, 2017). It is best practice for treating PTSD, complex trauma, specific trauma and historical trauma. It is also effective for other conditions such as: addictions, panic Attacks, complicated grief, dissociative disorders, disturbing memories, phobias, pain disorders, performance anxiety, stress reduction, sexual abuse, physical abuse, body dysmorphic disorders, personality disorders.



I was told I might have trauma. What are some of the signs of trauma?

The major symptoms of PTSD include anxiety, depression, and addiction. More specifically, these may include: • Intrusive (unwanted) memories, distressing dreams, flashbacks • Mental or physical discomfort around people or situations that remind you of the traumatic experience • Avoidance of people or situations that remind you of the traumatic experience • Trouble remembering parts of the experience • Negative self-image, inappropriate blame of self and others • Feeling down, angry, ashamed or fearful most of the time • Decreased participation in activities in which you used to participate • Feeling detached or estranged from people in your life • Unable to experience positive emotions, such as happiness and love • Frequent anger or aggression • Recklessness • Hypervigilance (constantly on edge or keyed up) • Being easily startled • Having trouble concentrating • Sleep difficulties Having one or many of these does not necessarily mean you are experiencing trauma responses or have PTSD. However, if it is impacting your ability to function or your relationships please have a professional help assess this. Vancouver Island Therapy can help!



How young is the youngest child you work with?

We work with children as young as three. Our goals of therapy are going to dictate the type of work we do and the approach we will take. In most cases an integration of both play therapy and family based therapy is going to be recommended for our younger clients.



In cases of Divorce and Separation do both parents need to consent to therapy?

It is always recommended that both parents are in concern with the therapeutic process. While there are some mediating circumstances that make this unsafe or impossible, in most cases your child will be best served if both parents are on board. This by no means that all parties need to be meeting together or in the therapy room. However, in our experience having input and commitment from both parents results in the most positive long lasting change for little ones.



My ex doesn’t think our child needs therapy but I do, what should I do?

In cases where co-parents are in disagreement, we suggest one parent book an appointment to come in and discuss the dynamic. Together we can develop strategies to support your child given the options your do have.



How involved am I expected/allowed to be in my child/teens therapy?

As family based therapists, our intension is to have parents involved as much as therapeutically beneficial. A parents level of involvement depends on a few things, including the age of the child, the parent child dynamic, therapeutic recommendations and the child’s preference.

For all our initial meetings with children under 12, we meet with parent and child. After this, we determine the most appropriate approach moving forward. In cases where a child is requesting their parent not participate, we develop other approaches to ensure parents are given direction and guidance how to best support their child

My child or teen is refusing counselling and I think they could benefit from it?

Often times a child/teens refusal to attend counselling is based on their interpretation of why you are making the suggestion. They often hear it as “you need help, there is something wrong with you”. By getting into your child’s world, and focusing on what might be important to them ( versus the changes you want to see) the possibility can open up. We also think its important that our kids hear the truth of “ I want to know how to be a better parent, and how to support you best”. This absolutely comes form the counselling process.